It’s time, oh yes, it’s time to pack your little one up for the holidays to spend time with your ex or soon to be ex. Most parents, maybe even you start to feel a bit resentful, a bit angry, and let’s face it, sad. It is normal to feel all of these emotions when you know you will not be spending “THE” holidays with your child this year, whether it is Thanksgiving, Christmas , Hanukkah, it doesn’t matter, we as parents have a multitude of feelings. Often times the feelings feel like a hurricane running amok in our brains, it’s ok, it’s normal.
But, now what are you going to do about it? First, and I really mean FIRST, please smile when your child leaves, please tell them to have fun, please tell them you love them. That is all they really need to hear from you as they transition from one family to another. Not only is it hard on parents but on the children as well because children often feel guilty when they leave one parent alone. Children worry about their parents feelings, even though at times it may not seem like it. If you have teenagers you will understand!
Now, what are you going to do with yourself after you have closed the door and watched them walk away, stealthily of course? It is time to turn to that group of people that you have decided are family. The ones who will make you laugh, take your mind off the situation, go to a movie with you and get lost in someone’s drama that is not your own. Pick up that book you have been meaning to read, go clean the kids room and get rid of all those cheap toys that come with happy meals that you always seem to step on when you least expect it, take a drive and listen to the music you like at full blast, think positive because positive thinking is a step towards a new beginning. Will you want to cry? YES! Then do it. It is ok to be sad. I read a quote recently that said, “Don’t forget that you’re human. It’s ok to have a meltdown. Just don’t unpack and live there. Cry it out and then refocus on where you are headed.”
And, during this holiday season, hopefully it is with friends and family that love you and will put a smile on your face.
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